Dear Tante Camilla,
My grandkids, who are now 12 and 16, never come to visit me anymore. I just don’t understand why my daughter-in-law doesn’t make them come over out of respect. Do you have any advice on how I can talk to her about this?
Dear Lonesome Gram:
You must be a Texian with that last name or from the West Bank. I never heard of no Grams down here.
Anyway, bonjour mes amis. This is Tante Camilla ready to give you some advice. So venez ici and écoutez.
First of all, beb, getting along with daughter-in-laws can be tricky, so this is what you gotta do. You call your son to come over to eat some of his favorite food for dinner when he takes a little break from work, maybe cook a good gumbo or some sticky chicken, something you know his wife can’t cook good like you. Maybe a ragu patat with some butcher sausage. I think I saw it was on sale in the sale papers. Chére bête, I’m starting to get hungry now just thinking about that. I might have to eat me a Little Debbie cake after while with a cold glass of milk.
Ah-bain, when he comes over, you take your Gazette and roll it up real tight and put it in the pocket of your housecoat. After you fix his food and he sits down, you come up behind him and ta-gow. You hit him across the head real hard like he was a big muskrat.
Let me tell you why. He was the one that you gave birth to and took care of all those years, not his wife. I was lucky to have a good mother-in-law, but my cousin Maybelline, phew Lawd, her mother-in-law was mean, mean to her. So don’t be like that.
You tell him that he needs to start picking you up to go to the baybay’s baseball games or dance recitals or whatever they’re in. Because look, at 12 and 16, they never home anymore. You gonna have to chase them to see them. That’s just how it is now-a-days. It’s not like the good ole’ days when everybody would go to mamére and papére’s house after church on Sunday and play with all the cousins. People just don’t have time for all that. So if you want to see the grand baybays, then you gonna have to put on a nice camisole and make your son take you with them.
Well, that’s all for now, I guess. When I get another question you’ll get another answer.
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Posted on Fri, August 19, 2016
by The Lafourche Gazette