Your Community Newspaper - Larose, LA

Serving Raceland, Gheens, Lockport, Valentine, Larose, Cut Off, Galliano, Golden Meadow, Leeville, & Grand Isle

Sunday, November 18, 2018

Surfin The Net

  • Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven

    The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.Saint Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you.

  • Frozen to Death

    Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second."I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful, how does it feel to freeze to death?" says the first."It's very uncomfortable at first, you get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes.

  • High School Reunion

    Have you ever been guilty of looking at someone your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old?" You'll love this one.My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which showed his full name.Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could this be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, w...

  • A Wife’s Wishes

    A despondent woman was walking along the beach when she saw a bottle on the sand. She picked it up and pulled out the cork. Whoosh!

  • A Doctor’s Cure

    A woman went to the doctors office, where she was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and told her to go relax in another room.The older doctor marched down hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs.

  • An Indian gets a loan

    An old Native American wanted a loan for $500.The banker pulled out the loan application. "What are you going to do with the money?" he asks the Indian."Buy silver, make jewelry, and sell it," was the response."What have you got for collateral?""Don't know collateral," replied the Indian."Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan,” replied the banker. "Have you got any vehicles?""Yes.

  • Outsmarted by a woman

    When John found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away."I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."Impressed, the woman went home with him that eveni...

  • The Two Doilies

    There once was a man and a woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They talked about everything. They kept no secrets from each other … except that the old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she cautioned her husband never to open it or ask her about it.For all these years he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would never recover.In trying to sort out their affairs the little old man took down ...

  • A very sweet potato

    A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called "Yam."Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack...

  • New Alligator Shoes

    A young woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young woman declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well, little lad...

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