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Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Sunday, May 28, 2017



Surfin The Net

tlgnewspaper_columns_surfin_the_net
  • Can you get married in Heaven?

    On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident.The couple then found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?When St.

  • Bad news

    A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.I have been finding real pas...

  • Proper precautions

    A husband and wife were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and a movie. Having been robbed in the past, they turned on several lights in the home and the alarm system and put the cat out back so she wouldn’t set it off.When the cab arrived, they walked out the front door and the tubby cat scooted between the man’s legs, raced inside, then ran up the stairs. The husband ran inside to retrieve her and put her in the back yard again.

  • Staying single

    While volunteering in a soup kitchen, I hit it off with a very attractive single man. It was a relief, since my mother and I always laughed 
because the men to whom I was drawn were inevitably married.So, optimistic about my chances, I asked my new friend what he did for a 
living.He replied, “I’m a priest.”

  • Gift giving

    John once bought his Grandma a very nice, luxurious toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a couple of weeks later, it wasn't in the bathroom.He asked his Grandma, “Gran, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?”“Darling, I'm sorry but I just didn’t like it. It was too scratchy.

  • Freshmen Test

    While visiting Annapolis, a lady tourist noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand."What are they doing?" she asked the tour guide."Each year," he replied with a grin, "the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard."When they were out of earshot of the freshmen, the curious lady asked the guide: "So, what's the answer?"The guide replied: &qu...

  • Starfish

    The good news is that each person is uniquely gifted to do something different, and that some of those gifts in life are done in quiet ways that the world may never see or know. This story always inspires me:In Maine they tell of an old man walking along the beach with his grandson. The boy picked up each starfish they passed and threw it back into the sea.

  • Humility

    People always say how much they admire those with humility, but few can tell you what humility really is.Someone once said, Humility is like underwear - we should have it, but not let it show.Warren Bennis, a wonderful speaker and writer, once told an audience, “Real leaders are people who are notable for their self-possession. They know who they are, have healthy egos, and take more pride in what they do than in who they are. They take compliments with a grain of salt and intelligent crit...

  • The gift-giver

    On Christmas Eve, Nathan thought it would be nice to buy his wife a little gift for the next day. Always tight with money, he thought long and hard about what that present might be.Unable to decide, he entered a department store and in the cosmetics section he asked the girl, “How about some perfume?”She showed him a bottle costing $150.“Too expensive!” exclaimed Nathan.The young lady returned with a smaller bottle for $75.“Oh dear,” Nathan groused, “sti...

  • Rudolph and friends

    One Christmas, a mother asked her young daughter if she could name two of Santa’s reindeer.“Rudolph and Olive,” replied the young girl confidently.“Rudolph and Olive?” said the mother, quizzically. “Are you sure?”“Yes, mommy, Rudolph and Olive. Like in the song.”“The song?” asked the mother.

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