Your Community Newspaper - Larose, LA

Serving Raceland, Gheens, Lockport, Valentine, Larose, Cut Off, Galliano, Golden Meadow, Leeville, & Grand Isle

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Wednesday, September 20, 2017



Surfin The Net

tlgnewspaper_columns_surfin_the_net
  • A very sweet potato

    A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called "Yam."Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack...

  • New Alligator Shoes

    A young woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young woman declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well, little lad...

  • A Bad Day

     There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig."Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears."Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying.""This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure.

  • Our lawn mower broke, What could I do?

     When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf - always something more important to me.Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.I was gone...

  • Wrong email address

    A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fe...

  • Answering Machines

    • Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.

  • Answering Machines

    • Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.

  • Can you get married in Heaven?

    On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident.The couple then found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?When St.

  • Bad news

    A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.I have been finding real pas...

  • Proper precautions

    A husband and wife were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and a movie. Having been robbed in the past, they turned on several lights in the home and the alarm system and put the cat out back so she wouldn’t set it off.When the cab arrived, they walked out the front door and the tubby cat scooted between the man’s legs, raced inside, then ran up the stairs. The husband ran inside to retrieve her and put her in the back yard again.

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