Your Community Newspaper - Larose, LA

Serving Raceland, Gheens, Lockport, Valentine, Larose, Cut Off, Galliano, Golden Meadow, Leeville, & Grand Isle

Sunday, August 12, 2018



Surfin The Net

tlgnewspaper_columns_surfin_the_net
  • Things You Did Not Know

    A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.A snail can sleep for three years.All polar bears are left handed.American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.Butterflies taste with their feetCats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have ab...

  • Where Is God?

    A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually.

  • A woman and a frog

    A woman was out golfing and hit the ball deep into the woods. When she went to look for it she found a frog in a trap.The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"The woman said, "That's okay."For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beau...

  • Mike and Joe

    When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day.One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played football on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favor, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's football there."Joe looks up at Mike from his deathbed, “Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you.”Shortly after that, Joe...

  • Einstein speaks at conference

    Einstein had to speak at an important Science Conference. On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"The driver agrees: "You're right.

  • Hunting, Fishing, And Drinking

    I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?""No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied."Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked."No, I don't waste time fishing," the home...

  • Do you sell grapes?

    One day a duck walks in a store and ask the manager if they sell grapes.The manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes."The duck goes home and comes back the next day and asks the same question. The manager says the same thing again, "No, we do not sell grapes."The duck goes home, comes back the next day, and asks the manager if they sell grapes. This time the manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes!

  • Surgeon Talk

    Five surgeons were talking about the best patients...First surgeon says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything on the inside is numbered."Second surgeon says, "Nah - librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."Third surgeon responds, "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded!"Fourth surgeon intercedes," I prefer lawyers.

  • A day with penguins

    A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the truck driver if he needed any help.The truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!"The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car.Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins. He showed up at the zoo and they weren...

  • A good Q&A

     Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?A: Fingernails.Q. What is the color of the wind?A. Blew.Q: What do you call someone without a nose or a body?A: Nobodynose.Q: Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?A: Because it’s pointless!Q: Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?A: Because she wanted to rock and roll.Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders?A: Because they have a lot of spirit!Q: How do you get 500 old cows in a barn?A: Put up a Bingo sign.Q:...

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