Your Community Newspaper - Larose, LA

Serving Raceland, Gheens, Lockport, Valentine, Larose, Cut Off, Galliano, Golden Meadow, Leeville, & Grand Isle

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Wednesday, April 25, 2018



Surfin The Net

tlgnewspaper_columns_surfin_the_net
  • A good Q&A

     Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?A: Fingernails.Q. What is the color of the wind?A. Blew.Q: What do you call someone without a nose or a body?A: Nobodynose.Q: Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?A: Because it’s pointless!Q: Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?A: Because she wanted to rock and roll.Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders?A: Because they have a lot of spirit!Q: How do you get 500 old cows in a barn?A: Put up a Bingo sign.Q:...

  • Judgment Day

    During an impassioned sermon about death and final judgment, the pastor said forcefully, "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgment."Glancing down at the front pew, he noticed a man with a big smile on his face.The minister repeated his point louder. "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgment!"The man nodded and smiled even more. This really got the preacher wound up.

  • A Lesson in Morals

    One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market.

  • Strange Laws

     Be careful, many of these laws are still on the booksWhen visiting Louisiana, remember that it is illegal to gargle in public...you can do just about anything else in public, but NO gargling!And be careful that you do not get caught shaving while driving in Massachusetts or you'll be in real trouble.If you're going to be driving through Utah, be alert because the birds have the right of way on the state highways.And walking down the streets of Maine with your shoes strings untied i...

  • A rich man goes to heaven...

    There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.An angel hears his plea and appears to him.

  • The Bank Robber (A true story)

    In San Francisco, a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into a local branch and wrote, "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and that they might call the police before he even reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the ...

  • Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven

    The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.Saint Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you.

  • Frozen to Death

    Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second."I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful, how does it feel to freeze to death?" says the first."It's very uncomfortable at first, you get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes.

  • High School Reunion

    Have you ever been guilty of looking at someone your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old?" You'll love this one.My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which showed his full name.Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could this be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, w...

  • A Wife’s Wishes

    A despondent woman was walking along the beach when she saw a bottle on the sand. She picked it up and pulled out the cork. Whoosh!

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