A reader sent me the following article entitled the “Laws of Occurrences.”
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you have to go use the facilities.
Law of Gravity: Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Law of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone with whom you don’t want to be seen.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it does!
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater or Stadium: The people whose seats are farthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They will probably leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long legs or big bellies and stay to the very end.
The Coffee Law: when you sit to drink a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold. Law of Lockers: If only two people are in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Law of Commercial Marketing: When you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it, or the store will stop selling it!
Doctors’ Law: If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.
Christians also have laws. The following are some of them.
Law of Love: Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)
Law for Happiness: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal. 6:2)
Law of Priorities: “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment, and the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matt. 22:36-40)
Law of Borrowing: “Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.” (Rom. 13:8-10)
Law of Detachment: “No one can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.” (Matt. 6:24)
Posted on Fri, July 28, 2017
by The Lafourche Gazette