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Wednesday, April 17, 2019

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A tribute to Mom for all she taught me!

A tribute to Mom for all she taught me!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE AJOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2.My mother taught me RELIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knockyou into the middle of next week!”

4.My mother taught me LOGIC.“Because I said so, that’s why.”

5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6.Mymother taught me FORESIGHT.“Make sure you wear cleanunderwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7.My mother taught me IRONY. “Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about thescience of OSMOSIS.“Shut your mouth and eat yoursupper.”

9.My mother taughtme about CONTORTIONISM.“Will you look at that dirt onthe back of your neck?”

10.My mother taught me about STAMINA.“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me aboutWEATHER.“This room of yours looks as if a tornado wentthrough it.”

12.My mothertaught me about HYPOCRISY.“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13.My mother taught me the CIRCLE OFLIFE.“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14.My mothertaught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.“Stop acting like your father!”

15.Mymother taught me about ENVY.“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16.My mothertaught me about ANTICIPATION.“Just wait until I get home.”

17.My mother taughtme about RECEIVING.“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18.My mothertaught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

19.My mother taught me ESP.“Putyour sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21.Mymother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22.My mother taught me GENETICS. “You’re just like your father.”

23.My mother taught me about myROOTS.“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24.My mother taught me WISDOM. “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
And myfavorite:

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”